youngwritersclubfandomcom-20200213-history
I Deleted My Account A Long Time Ago But Want To Make This
I -I've been to more than several open-mics from the encouragement of my English teacher, who supports my writing completely. I perform my pieces in front of audiences, often dealing with (like my art), my own identity. Which I will discuss in a minute. -Speaking of poetry, I have over 80 pages of poetry I have written since the start of my high school career. Many of my teachers have expressed their admiration for my prose, and I am so excited with the shift in my style. It is mature, symbolic, and frequently Romantic (as in the style, not in the subject matter). I do not aim to publish them here, as I do intend to pitch them to some writing company in the coming years. I am very proud of my poetry, and the first poem I ever wrote was here. So that's wonderfully nostalgic for me. -In the biggest news, I know I want to create movies. Write them, direct them. I have made 6 short films in a year, worked a camera, have around 8 screenplays either in progress or finished. I work extremely hard, got accepted to some very exclusive film schools with almost $100,000 scholarships, got wait-listed for Tisch, but rejected from my favorite film school of them all. But I am still going to the school and aiming to try again next year. Why, you may ask? I am so attached to the program, am being paid to go there essentially, and have an apartment. And they are extremely good at their humanities, the only thing I'll ever be interested in. I know that I have a chance, or those schools would not have accepted me. I just have to hone my skills that were there. In the mean-time, I plan to double-major in Art History and maybe education or business. My interests amalgamate, and the only thing that I could possible attribute as much passion to art is my politics. Politics have been a great outlet for me. I am a Leftist, for many reasons I am too lazy to provide reasoning for, but let's just say that this brought me to organize rallies and voter registration at my school. I plan to be much more active in college, simply because I am hindered right now. I would love to be that person that makes a difference, so much of my art intertwines my political beliefs, because I find that it is undeniably who I am. "The personal is political" if you will. That being said, ever since I left, I have realized my own identity as a lesbian woman, and am very proud of that fact. I will not apologize or try to rationalize the toxic ideas that I "became gay" because it is something that I have always been, but simply not aware of. I have had two girlfriends since I have left, both of whom taught me of my own faults and theirs, and were not healthy at all. I do believe that there is someone out there, despite these bad experiences. All being said, I pierced my nose and suddenly I am aware of my own inevitable adulthood, the way things were. I do not regret what I said on here, do not feel in any way bad for the way I left. I do think of this place time to time, in a distant memory, when I remember the times in which I had no friends, social anxiety. I remember being absolutely crushed and coming on here to be positive, because it was a way to keep myself sane. I am much happier now. I have so many people surrounding me, loving me for who I am. I keep in contact with more than a few teachers that have let me realize my true potential. I am going to tell you of them, as a sort of catharsis. I have artist friends that I collaborate with for films and art projects, I am recording on a VHS camera a tour of my hometown with a guy I met two years ago at a party, where he took photos of me to put on his photography account, because he was so inspired by my style. I miss the hell out of him when he is gone for school (he is a junior in college this year), but I appreciate seeing him now. When he talks to me, he has an undeniable support and love that radiates from him. I have another guy that creates films and wants to work for Marvel, he is younger than me, but is a queer ally™ and puts me in my place. He knows how to make me laugh when I am sad, has a wonderful optimism about him that makes it impossible to feel sad around him. I talk to him every day, despite never having a class with him in my life. My "friend group" I guess, consists of a professional pianists who has won so many awards and is so smart that I can't begin to fathom how talented she is. She also sings opera, has such a soft tone about her that makes me feel so at peace when I see her, despite her often dark sense of humor. I love her to death. Another girl has a wild sense about her, so funny and energetic. A real life cartoon really. Her loyalty to her friends is so understated, would take a bullet for her. One of my friends is going down a dark path right now, but I hope he finds himself eventually. I haven't talked to him in weeks, but I wish he could find out just how much his friends care about him. Another friend I am visiting today, she dances and always has a sense of humor in the depths of solitude. She was my first friend I made in high school. The last, my best friend: an absolute treasure to this world. She has such a confidence about her, is majoring in engineering and art history. She was almost the valedictorian of our class, and our absolute passion for history makes us unable to be separated. We are joined at the hip, see each other at least twice a week, and cook together. She is the greatest person and I can't wait to see how she grows in college. There are so many other friends I have that I love, and I am so excited to make more in college. Seeing where I was at the start of high school and where I am, with an undeniable support system...it's amazing to think. However, you were once those people, and I will not forget to add my gratitude. I miss certain people on other wikias as well, I wish I could find Summer and Skye and TheEmoticon24 and others. Even if some were cringey, we all were. I thank everyone for allowing me to learn the importance of surrounding myself with people. If you wish to contact, simply comment below. Actually, please comment below. I want to hear your voices, for you to ask me questions. For you to touch me through the many frames of glass we are separated by. I wanted to have a proper farewell on the edge of my life as I know it, and I want you to be a part of it. Everything has changed. Sincerely, Me